


Lachrimosa

by ghoulsandsunflowers



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Fluff, HIde mourning the death of his father in this un, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, but like only sorta?? not full on angst n not full on fluff i guess, pretty hide-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 04:46:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15722253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulsandsunflowers/pseuds/ghoulsandsunflowers
Summary: It was a lonely little swing set, two rubber seats on old rusty chains sat overlooking a field. Hide couldn’t be sure whether he was the picture of absolute misery or artistry, sat alone in a downpour in a ridiculous fur coat with his hair plastered to his scalp, staring into nothing.Hide mourns.





	Lachrimosa

**Author's Note:**

> thankyou sinshine for helpin me come up w this!! bless ya

It was a lonely little swing set, two rubber seats on old rusty chains sat overlooking a field. Hide couldn’t be sure whether he was the picture of absolute misery or artistry, sat alone in a downpour in a ridiculous fur coat with his hair plastered to his scalp, staring into nothing.

He wasn’t quite sure whether to turn his music up or down. There was something rather cleansing about the sound of continuous downpour, sure, but Hide hadn’t come here to wash away thoughts or feelings. Nor had he come here to mourn, he reminded himself. He was here to sit and swing. Nothing more.

Hide turned up the volume on his earphones.

The fifth of December was solemn for Hide. 

Nine years ago, on the fifth of December, a strange man in a suit had come to his door and announced that Hideyoshi’s father had died on a mission, and that he was very sorry for his loss. Very sorry indeed. Funnily enough, hearing apologies from a stranger in a suit didn’t help Hide much at the age of eight, and helped him equally not as much at the age of seventeen.

Hide had thrown on the heaviest thing he owned - a comically large black fur coat he’d bought second hand in the autumn, and heeded no notice as to where he was going before he began to walk. He had no destination, no sure path. He just put on foot in front of the other, over and over. His only thought was to think of nothing, and as such, he only came to this old swing set in an otherwise empty field upon chance. And what to do, given this opportunity, but to sit, close your eyes, breathe and swing.

Hide opened his eyes upon realisation that the rain had stopped rather abruptly. Looking up, he saw Kaneki standing over him carrying an umbrella Hide had gotten him for a birthday a couple of years back. Hide remembered being proud of that one - a plain black umbrella that became blue and patterend with clouds under water.  


Kaneki looked down at him sheepishly, tipping the umbrella a little so it covered Hide more. 

“Nice coat.”

Hide snorted. He took out an earbud to hear Kaneki better.

“I know. Wanna sit?”

Kaneki nodded and went to maneuver round to the swing next to Hide, stretching his arm out to keep the umbrella in place. Hide let out a small huff of laughter.

“Don’t worry, you can have it. The damage has been done, anyway.” He gestured to himself, wiping rainwater off his cheeks for emphasis.

After a moments consideration, Kaneki brought the umbrella back to himself before closing it and placing it gently on the ground. He took his seat besides Hide and closed his eyes as the rainwater began to roll down his cheeks.

“You didn’t come into school today. I was worried.”

Hide hummed. “I’m sorry. I should have let you know where I was.” Smiling a little, he turned to face Kaneki. “But you seemed to know anyway, huh.”

Kaneki shook his head, huffing out a light laugh. “Barely. I tried at least three different places before I got here. Speaking of, I’m guessing your dads didn’t know you were bunking off school?”

Hide groaned and dragged his hands down his face. “Ah, shit. School was gonna call them eventually I guess. Wh- don’t give me that look you were only trying to help - where else did you look for me?”

Kaneki looked ahead, pondering. “So yeah, first your house. I tried our usual playground, poked my head into Big Girl.”

“Of course.”

“I tried that coffee shop behind the school parking lot, just in case you’d accidentally locked yourself in the bathroom again.”

“Hey, that only happened one time!”

“I looked in that new Pilates studio, three different Burger Kings and that sex shop down the back alley.” 

Hide barked out a burst of genuine laughter, to his own surprise, and was left with a small but heartfelt grin as he turned to face Kaneki again. 

“And then you came here.”

“And then I came here.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the patter of rain and letting it soak them. Hide had almost forgotten about the soft music still flowing through the earbud he’d left in. He wordlessly offered Kaneki the other.

He could see the concentration in Kaneki’s face as he put the earphone in and listened to the piece.

“Is this the Mozart Requiem?”

That caught Hide off guard.

“You know this piece?”

Kaneki nodded, as if it were obvious. 

“You played it a few months back. I think I might have listened to it a couple of times myself since.”

“Huh,” Hide mused, turning to back ahead of him without another word. Even so, something about the notion of Kaneki having taken interest in his music couldn’t stop a small grin from gracing his cheeks.

“Which is your favourite movement?” He prompted.

“Hm? Uh, I don’t know. They all sorta blended in for me. Is this one the Pie Jesus?”

Hide snorted loudly and doubled over giggling.

“Is this the- the what? The Pie Jesus?”

Kaneki looked mildly offended. 

“Is that not what it’s called? I thought it was Latin!”

Hide got control over his breathing but still let out the occasional huff of laughter.

“Yeah, the Latin is Pie Jesus but I promise you it is not pronounced like that. O- okay, repeat after me. Pea-ay,”

“Pea-ay,”

“Hey,”

“Hey,”

“Soo."

"Soo.”

“Pea-ay Hey-soo.”

“Pea-ay Hey-soo.”

“There we go! You know some Latin. How do you feel?”

“Do you know what it translates into?”

“Not a clue.”

“Then I feel like my time has been wasted.”

Hide grinned. “Harsh but fair.”

They sat in silence for a while after that.

Revelling in the presence of one another, so close in the vast emptiness of a field occupied only by the hammering of rain and two teenagers, bunking off school to muse on a rickety swing set.

“Did your father like this music?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” Kaneki looked at his feet. “I know a lot of people like the music their parents brought them up on, and i-its December 5th today, so I just thought-”

“Pff, nah,” Hide snorted. “He didn’t care for much of any music post 1700s, honestly. All that Bach and Correli shit. I tend to prefer post 1800s music anyway, your Romantics and 20th century composers - you know, Debussy, Shostakovich, Stravinsky. We both liked a little bit of Mozart to be fair, but I assure you he never bothered with this piece.”

“You understand I didn’t get a word that.”

“Absolutely, yeah.”

Another moment of silence.

As ridiculous as it sounded, Hide was almost mad the swings weren’t a little closer together. Or, perhaps, the seats were large enough to fit two people. Because as gentle and calming as it was to watch Kaneki sit and muse in silence, rainwater flattening his hair and rolling down his smooth cheeks, it only made Hide want to be closer to him. 

To wrap his arms around him and thank him for everything, to hold Kaneki’s hands in his, to stroke his hair and tell him that they’ll be okay.

That kind of stuff.

“Lachrimosa.”

“Sorry?”

“That’s the movement. You said Pie Jesus and I forgot to correct you. This movement is the Lachrimosa.”

“Ah,” Kaneki nodded. 

They listened. This was probably Hide’s favourite movement of the Requiem. It was one of the slower ones, which was totally not his style, but something about the broad harmonies and growing textures stirred something in him.

_Lacrimosa, dies illa,_

“I actually do know a little about the translation for this movement. It’s all like, ‘I’m probably going to hell but God please if we could sort something else out I’d be fuckin’ stoked.’”  
Kaneki laughed. “Mozart was having a bad day when he wrote this then, huh.”

“Actually, Mozart died about eight bars into this movement. Someone else wrote the rest.”

“Oh. That’s unfortunate.”

_Qua resurget ex favilla,_

“I’ll say. He was tragically young as well. Mid thirties, I think?”

“I guess that’s how it goes. Only tragedy to befit the young and genius.”

Hide whirled around dramatically to face Kaneki and grab his shoulders.

“Are you saying that we’re doomed to live tragedies, Kaneki?”

“Huh?”

“Well, we’re young. Pretty smart, I’d say. You saying our lives are gonna be tragedies?”

Kaneki laughed lightly and swatted at Hide’s arm. 

“Of course not. Mozart was probably some lonely old bastard anyway. We’ve got each other.”

_Judicandus homo reus,_  


Hide smiled gently, and it grew till his cheeks almost hurt.

“Yeah, we do.”

Kaneki smiled back.

_Huic ergo parce, Deus,_

“Do you want some time alone? It’s okay if you want to mourn in peace, Hide.”

Hide looked ahead and didn’t say anything. 

_Pie Jesus Domine,_

“Then can I stay here? I want to keep you company, if that’s okay.”

Hide nodded.

“Yes, please.”

_Dona eis requiem,_

And they both watched, side by side, as the faraway rumble of deep thunder moved steadily towards them.

_Amen._

**Author's Note:**

> this is the lachrimosa if anyones interested! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1-TrAvp_xs
> 
> and the whole requiem goes hard asf too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPlhKP0nZII
> 
> uuhh this is my tungle: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ghoulsandsunflowers
> 
> n then this is sinshine on tumblr too: http://sinshiney.tumblr.com/
> 
> thanks for all ur support!! all very appreciated


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